


Pulses Can Drive From Here

by moshi



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 16:39:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2435639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moshi/pseuds/moshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s a forty minute drive.”</p>
<p>“Is that okay?” Niall asked, his voice full of hesitation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pulses Can Drive From Here

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gvitars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gvitars/gifts).



“It’s a forty minute drive.”

“Is that okay?” Niall asked, his voice full of hesitation.

The car was parked at the back of the parking lot and Louis’s keys were already in his hand - Niall had to decide. Now or never.

Louis shrugged, “Doesn’t matter to me, man.”

He turned around and did a small hop over the parking block. He wasn’t going fast, though. Niall was right behind him.

It was one of the last nights of summer - not actual, seasonal summer: the shorter summer, the half-summer…the part of summer that matters. The weeks where days bleed into nights and three days become one blur, when #freedom is all that anyone can talk about. The summer for driving too fast and falling asleep in the back of the car, at the lake, in the field. When it’s tanktops and old jean shorts, promises on top of promises, 7-11 fast food, melting ice cream, Starbucks iced coffee - trying to act older without any of the responsibilities.

The night was humid and warm, balmy and buzzing with crickets and all of the other loud, unseen insects - a din throughout the night. No one sleeps anyway, but the world would never let them. The street lamps overhead seemed to barely illuminate the parking lot and made it look even emptier.

Louis’s checkered Vans shone bright underneath the lamp they passed under. Niall knew they were older, though, more used. Louis didn’t typically chase new trends, instead relying on favorites and tried-and-true pieces here and there that he had picked up. Niall was a little awe-struck and maybe a little tipsy. Or tired, at this point; they both bleed together. Louis’s shoes, worn-in black jeans, and nearly threadbare, soft-from-too-many-washes, faded tshirt seemed brand new.

Abruptly, Niall ran full-force into Louis.

“Woah,” Louis laughed, “Watch where you’re walking…”

Louis was smirking and looking at his keys, flipping through the ring to his car key. His face was hidden beneath the long bangs and the bill of a hat.

Niall walked around the back of the car, glancing at the window and pulling the hem of his tshirt down gently, unconsciously. In contrast to Louis’s simplicity (his preference for all black), Niall’s tshirt - oversized, but sitting well on his full shoulders (betraying what seems like such a small frame) - was a pastel blue, barely the color of the sky in summer when it is washed out with clouds, like someone carelessly dumping out a bucket of soap for the car. He had skinny jeans on, light-wash (almost to the point of gray) and with the knees completely blown out. He ripped open holes at the knees when he first bought them, but from wear and too many haphazard adventures they grew much bigger than he ever expected. The most similar pieces of clothing they share are their shoes: Niall, too, was in Vans, but his were a loud leopard-print pattern. 

_We haven’t even gotten in the car yet…_ His mental pep talk did not start out well.

Niall smoothed his hand through his hair, practically a mane and not nearly as controlled as Louis’s - it had been weeks since Niall’s last haircut, but he stopped worrying about that days ago. Everything was returning to normal soon, anyway. Everything was resetting. For now, his hair would be wild and big and full, roots showing clearly underneath the fading blond that was getting pushed out.

Louis slid the key into the door lock and Niall heard each movement clearly - the key slipping into the lock, Louis sharply turning it to the right and back to the left (the soft pop of the lock releasing), and finally sliding it out; the hard, chunky sound of the key against the tumblers - he wasn’t sure if he was just tired or if it was because the parking lot was so quiet. A small bead of sweat was just forming at Niall’s hairline when he heard the quiet pop of the lock on his side of the door.

_When did…_ Niall had completely missed Louis getting into the car.

Louis slammed his door closed and Niall slowly opened the passenger side door. No heat rushed out of the car - it had been sitting in the dark for long enough that it wasn’t especially hotter in the car compared to outside. He stepped inside without looking at Louis.

* * *

 

No matter what, that was the most boring place they could’ve gone. But it was where they always went, especially when summer was ending. It was a spot just for them and, really, only because that’s where Liam worked. He always had a job over the summer - always immensely more responsible than the others. Zayn would bring the cigarettes, Louis would bring the booze, and Harry would usually bring Niall. Niall’s older brother always took the car during the summer; drove it somewhere and left Niall stranded at home, but he had a bike and usually that was okay, unless he was going into town. Harry lived close enough and never minded bringing him whenever they were meeting up. That was more frequent the closer to September it was.

Liam closed the store and met Zayn and Louis in the back, complaining about the lack of help (“I’m not mopping a floor. That’s what you get paid to do,” Louis retorted), but didn’t hesitate to take the first pull from the bottle of rum - Louis’s drink of the night. They all felt brave doing it this way, meeting in public at the back of Liam’s store. There wasn’t anything to hide behind, but no one ever came by this late. Still, they shushed each other and sometimes talked in a low whisper.

When Harry and Niall showed up, Liam, Zayn, and Louis were already halfway through the bottle, but Liam trying to stand and knocking over trashcans showed where most of it went.

“Bro!” Louis nearly hissed.

He demanded Liam sit with a hand motion: palm flat, facing down, and roughly moved his hand down through the air. Liam did his best, but Zayn had to guide his landing. Harry had already sat down beside Louis, stealing the handle of rum - Niall paused mostly to watch the spectacle of Liam, yards ahead of the group in this drinking non-race, but also caught off-guard by the carefulness Zayn showed Liam: he had his arm wrapped around his shoulder, not lazily, and was more holding him up, though not because Liam needed to be fully supported. They just looked comfortable there.

“Ni…you gonna join us?” Liam slurred, patting the concrete beside him.

“Niall -“ Louis wrested the bottle from Harry and held it up.

Harry made a face and switched across the empty space to sit by Liam, who immediately grinned widely and fell on him. Harry could barely keep his dead weight up, but he was laughing along with him anyway. Niall sat beside Louis and took the bottle.

“Nice hat…”

Louis traced the brim from the furthest side and tilted Niall’s head, pressing just hard enough to guide his face more toward Louis’s. Niall had his lips on the bottle while Louis smirked at the hat - he couldn’t keep eye contact with Louis, though, and faced forward. He took a long drink from the bottle and coughed: he was too distracted to remember he was drinking straight rum.

“Not bad at all, Nialler.”

Louis pulled the hat off Niall’s head quickly, before Niall could react with the bottle still in his hand, and pushed it on top of his mop-hair head. He looked pleased with himself and kept making small adjustments to how the hat sat on his head. Niall was running his hand through his hair and distracting himself with Liam’s antics; Louis felt a little crestfallen that Niall wasn’t fighting him to get his hat back – he resolved to keep it all night.

* * *

 

Niall was aware of the soft crush against the fabric seat his body made when he slid into the car. He was looking down at the floorboards - Louis had taken out the mats and there was just hard plastic, a little dirty. His Vans looked a little out-of-place, silly, against the uniform black. Louis bought this old, 2000 Honda Civic with his own money, saved up from when he was sixteen and borrowing his parent’s car. He was immensely proud of it, even with the weird, dark purple color he ended up with - he never hesitates to correct someone and call it black: he just says he doesn’t see it. The interior was mostly well-kept, even though the seats never really stopped smelling faintly like cigarettes.

Niall fidgeted with the piece of plastic piping on the outside of his seat that had come loose.

Louis started the car and switched on the lights, which reflected against a concrete wall separating the small lot from the one on the other side.

“So should you GPS or should I?” Louis started to glance over at Niall, but he caught his reflection in the rearview mirror and focused on that. He made a small adjustment to the hat.

“Uh…I can just tell you.” Niall smirked. “I know the way to my own house, don’t I?”

“…Suit yourself.”

Louis pulled the transmission into Reverse and let the car roll slowly, unnecessarily. Louis was staring into the rearview mirror, focused on the distance between his car and Liam’s. Niall was watching him and felt his focus keep settling on his mouth: Louis’s lips were parted, just barely, with all of his concentration.

“Are you sure you’re good to drive?”

Niall smiled in spite of himself - he trusted Louis was fine, but he knew that question would bother him. It seemed like a good moment for a free jab.

Louis’s lips closed and pursed for the barest moment, “Now do you really think I would ever put you in danger, Sunshine?” He glanced quickly at Niall and smiled, barely.

The brakes in Louis’s car squealed and, when the car stopped, Louis shifted his body and pulled the transmission into Drive. He placed both hands on the steering wheel and turned fully before applying a little gas to get out of the parking lot.

“You really don’t want to meet up with them first?” Louis asked.

Niall thought it about for a second, but already knew his answer: “Nah, I’m not feeling it tonight. Too tired.”

“Off we go, then.”

Louis turned right at Niall’s directions and starting heading out of town.

* * *

 

Earlier in the summer the five of them had gone to the lake about an hour out of town and made a whole day of it. Harry, naturally, brought a picnic basket filled so full the top wouldn’t close.

“There are five of us!” Harry started to explain.

“Here we go…” Louis rolled his eyes.

“I brought TEA, for you, Lou -“ he looked at Louis with daggers - “and then some sausage, fruit, crackers, jam -“

“Yeah, what kind of fruit did you bring?” Zayn asked.

Harry shifted around the basket, just aimlessly pushing things around. “Well, there wasn’t much at the grocery store…” his voice trailed off until he was barely doing more than mumbling.

“Bananas,” Louis said matter-of-factly.

Niall burst into full belly laughter when he saw Harry pull out two bunches of bananas. Liam was coming down the small hill from the car with a blanket and two cases of beer stacked precariously on top and leaning against his chest. He looked ready to trip at any moment.

“Payno, you’re doing too much!” Louis sighed and shook his head.

Zayn met him half way and took the beer out of his arms.

“You want a banana?”

Niall had sat beside Louis. He flopped down with his legs stretched out in front of him and his weight supported on his right arm, planted behind him. He held up two bananas in his left hand and tried unsuccessful to hold back a grin.

Louis rolled his eyes and took the banana. 

* * *

 

"Niall…" Louis glanced over at where Niall was sitting, hands tucked between his legs and head turned toward the window.

"Hm? Sorry..."

Niall shifted in his seat and pulled the seatbelt away from his body for a second. He stretched, flattening his palms against the roof and pushing his feet as far away as possible.

"I'm driving you to the middle of nowhere and you can't even talk to me?"

Louis appeared a little indignant, but Niall had learned long ago to look past that - Louis was honest, but he wouldn’t dare sacrifice winning an argument if all it took was a little, harmless lying.   Niall smirked.

"I was thinking about this summer, is all."

Niall squeezed Louis's shoulder gently and lingered there. His fingers touched the hem at the neck of Louis's shirt: the sewing felt like it was barely there, so worn down and worn in, but the neckline wasn't stretched or frayed...it hardly seemed damaged at all. Remarkably worn in, but still strong after who knows how many years. Niall's hand started trailing down Louis's arm, absentmindedly, and he paused before taking his hand off of his arm. He scratched the back of his neck mindlessly.

* * *

 

"They're gonna drown themselves."

Louis sounded bored. He was propped up on an elbow with a beer in his other hand, watching Harry, Liam, and Zayn mess around in the shallow part of the lake.

"Ni - are you listening to me?"

Niall was sitting with his legs loosely crossed and his back hunched over his lap; he was reading a book and entirely lost in it - the apple he had started eating was unfinished and beginning to brown.

"Niall!"

"Hm?" He responded after a moment. 

"You're impossible."

Louis scooted forward and sat beside Niall. His knees were near his chest and his kneecaps tucked under his armpits - the beer he was holding dangling and just barely brushing against the blanket. He tussled Niall's hair and drew him closer with a headlock.

"Louis..." Niall closed the book in his lap, " _you_ are impossible!"

"Nah... hey, look at those idiots in the water."

Liam pushed Harry underwater, which Zayn laughed at and then helped Harry up again; they were in a shallow area, but the waves they were creating didn't make it easy to stand.

Louis still had Niall pulled close in a headlock, but he wasn't keeping him there. His arm was relaxing and it slid to the nape of Niall's neck - Louis gripped Niall's shoulder barely perceptibly and kept his arm there. Niall didn't move, anyway. Instead, Niall brought his knees up like Louis's and let his knees fall toward him; their kneecaps touched and Niall didn't move away.

Louis didn't either. Niall's book had fallen onto the ground. 

* * *

 

"Turn left up here." Niall pointed vaguely through the windshield.

Niall tried to stifle a yawn, but it overpowered him and he hardly covered it with his hand. He was too tired to care, really. Louis watched him, glancing back and forth, while he turned. Niall yawned again and, now going straight on the road, Louis waited for him to cover his yawn. Predictably Niall did, just as lazily, and Louis quickly tapped the back of his hand. It hit Niall in the mouth softly, not enough to hurt him, but he was startled.

"What the fuck?" Niall asked through the end of his yawn, slurring the words together, "Louis, you ass..."

He shook his head and shifted pointlessly, and then stared out of the window. Louis was trying not to laugh.

"Come on, man...it was a joke."

Louis was becoming slightly worried about his reaction: this wasn’t how he intended the drive to go. He reached over and gripped Niall's shoulder. After a second without a reaction, Louis's smirk faltered and he moved his hand to Niall's neck and started to massage at the nape.

"...I'm sorry, alright?"

Louis worked slowly on Niall's neck. He knew they were getting close to Niall's house - he didn't really need that much direction to get there - and he slowed down, just barely. Niall gave in and dropped his head, staring at his feet on the floorboards rather than out of the window.

"Mmmmm...feels good..." Niall mumbled through his tiredness.

Louis started working higher up Niall's neck, carefully balancing driving and giving Niall a proper massage. He didn't expect Niall to take to the massage as much as he did and he felt committed now. Louis found Niall's hairline and paused briefly. He pushed up past the small hairs at the bottom and extended the massage onto the base of Niall's skull, working through the shorter hair there. Louis slowed: the languid movements on Niall's head and through his hair were almost non-existent. It seemed to be more about just touching Niall at this point. Having that physical connection to him. 

Niall tensed some, not enough for Louis to notice, but he felt something shift, something change. It felt like, for the first time, really, something opened up inside of him – opened up to a new possibility that wasn’t there before. It felt like something ran through Niall’s whole body starting from Louis’s fingertips and ending in Niall’s toes. He was afraid to move, even to look up; he was afraid doing something would make this moment end.

Niall didn’t feel quite as tired anymore.

* * *

 

Last year Louis hosted the New Year's party the five of them always have. It wasn't really a party, but just another excuse for the five of them to hang out somewhere that's not the back of Liam's store. They learned to get through the year by making up their own rules, simplifying the world as they knew it to make it more livable.

Liam was wearing a Santa hat and New Year's sunglasses: by the time Harry and Niall arrived, he was already a little buzzed and had brought a pile of mismatched accessories he had dug through as a result. Zayn constantly offered to hold his drink, which Liam thought was to get him to stop drinking, but he was just trying to save the furniture in Louis's house from stains. While there was no catching up to Liam, Louis was already delightfully buzzed and laughing at Zayn nearly chasing Liam around the house, who dangerously held his glass of cheap, boxed wine in the air.

Harry took off to make himself a drink and Niall naturally gravitated toward Louis, who was leaning on the wall between the living room and kitchen. Louis handed him his glass.

"Wine? We're classier this year, huh?" Niall asked, holding up the glass and squinting at the contents.

"It's a New Year's party! Gotta do it right!"

Louis looked pleased with himself and Niall noticed the darker red stain on his lips.

"I don't want - Liam, I don't care! I just want you to, like, put it down for a second..."

Zayn was following Liam down the stairs, looking exasperated. Liam was keeping his glass out of reach, even though no one was reaching for it.

"Ni! You made it!"

Liam was glowing: the biggest grin it looked like he'd ever had and a blush that betrayed his joviality for straight drunkenness. He threw an arm around Niall and the near dead weight of Liam made them both sway precariously. The wine jostled in the glass; Zayn rolled his eyes.

"Hey, Liam...you alright there?" Niall tried to be diplomatic and hoped his voice didn't sound too motherly.

He instinctively grabbed onto Liam's arm to steady him and Zayn placed a hand on the small of his back.

"Well at least let me get a drink..." Zayn said with some resignation.

Liam cheered emphatically, as if he were at a football game, and "led the charge" (as he declared) into the kitchen. For all of Liam's luck in not spilling, it did not continue into the kitchen: Liam stumbled on the divider between the carpet in the living room and linoleum in the kitchen, dramatically flinging limbs and dropping his entire glass.

The shatter was met with silence. Mostly.

"I'm alright!" Harry called from the back of the kitchen.

A moment later Niall was doubled over laughing and Louis was rolling his eyes.

"Liam, you complete donut..." Louis sounded as exasperated as Zayn had.

He carefully tip-toed around the broken glass and found the broom beside the refrigerator. Harry performed a barely graceful leap over the glass and took Louis's place. He tapped the glass Niall was holding with his own.

"Happy New Year," he said with a grin.

"Not quite yet."

Niall had the rim of the glass at his lips and he was focused on Louis walking back to the mess with the broom. He took a sip of wine.

Nearly at midnight, Liam was almost passed out on the couch while Zayn tried to keep him awake, talking to him and occasionally jostling him. Mostly he was rubbing his back, though, still consoling him for breaking the glass. Harry had moved beside the window, watching the snow fall and idly listening to the countdown program playing on the television. He'd pulled a NYE tiara out of Liam's pile of accessories and worked it into his hair very naturally with the scarf he already had there. Louis and Niall were in the same spot: neither had moved practically all night, except to get more wine.

"So what's your resolution?" Louis narrowed his eyes at Niall for the question.

Niall scoffed, "What's that look for?"

Louis smirked behind his glass and stayed quiet for a moment, like he wasn’t going to answer.

"Come on! What's gonna be your big change?"

Niall thought for a moment, avoiding eye contact with Louis.

"I can't tell you yet," Niall took a drink, "It's not the new year! Can't jinx it!"

Niall smiled winningly and hoped the blush he felt creeping on was from the wine.

"Hey, it's starting," Zayn hit Liam and startled him awake before grabbing the remote to turn up the volume. 

An announcer excitedly declared the time and then the camera panned out to show a crowd. Chanting started as the countdown began. Niall was looking over his shoulder at the TV; Zayn, Liam, and Harry were focused on the TV as well. Niall felt a heat closer to him - he turned his head and was practically touching Louis's nose. He could smell the wine on his breath.

"So what was your resolution, again?" Louis hardly breathed out the question, he was talking so lowly.

And now the blush on Niall's cheeks definitely _wasn't_ from the wine (not that it had really ever been if he was being honest with himself). The other three were chanting along with the TV.

"I -" Niall stammered, "I hadn't told you yet." He was practically whispering, though he didn't quite know why.

The moment stretched. Louis let out a breathy "ha" and Niall felt his warm breath on his lips, the tip of nose. Niall wondered briefly if this wasn't the reason he was drunk.

Suddenly there was cheering and "happy new year!" being traded around the room. Niall was broken out of his reverie by Harry shaking his shoulders. Louis took a quick, deep drink and raised his glass, breaking into a smile and shouting his own "Happy New Year" around the room before taking off into the kitchen. Niall turned and grinned broadly, throwing his arms around Harry and drawing him to a deep hug.

"Happy New Year, Haz," Niall said into Harry's shoulder.

He broke off and gave the same to Liam and Zayn. Louis must have snuck upstairs - Niall didn't see him again before he passed out on the couch, practically in a pile with Liam, Zayn, and Harry.

* * *

 

Louis pulled into Niall's driveway and put his car in park. It was that bright part of night, when there aren't any clouds and it seems like all of the lights from town are on. It almost felt like headlights weren't necessary. Louis turned the key back and the engine shut off. Everything seemed loud again, suddenly, to Niall. Every movement Louis made felt like it echoed in Niall’s ears, just like when he was first getting into the car. He pulled at the small creases in his jeans at his knees, mindlessly flicking them with his fingers.

"Niall..." Louis still had his hands on the steering wheel.

The headlights were bouncing off of the wall of the house, strangely, barely illuminating the car interior along with the bright dashboard lights. The radio was on, but neither of them had bothered to turn up the volume. A Top 40 song was hardly audible.

"Niall," Louis repeated. 

He reached across the console and placed his hand on top of Niall's. Niall flattened his hands on knees and felt his breath hitch for not even a second. He glanced over at Louis, who was looking at him intently.

"There's a lot I haven't been able to say and...I mean I'm not drunk, obviously, I just drove you home..."

Louis sighed at himself and looked up, resting the crown of his head against the headrest. Niall tilted his head, looking out of the corner of his eye: Louis had his eyes closed and his jaw tensed. His mouth opened some, like he was going to talk, but he shut it just as quickly. He was taking small, loud breaths and Niall held his breath for a moment.

_Now or never,_ Niall thought.

Louis's hand was still on top of Niall's, now with a slight pressure. He was emanating nervousness. Louis opened his mouth yet again to talk.

"Do you want to come in?" Niall asked softly, before Louis could speak again. 

Louis opened his eyes slowly and looked over at Niall, who was staring just under Louis's chin instead of trying to make eye contact. Niall slowly rotated his left hand, turning his palm up and Louis, realizing he had been pressing down gently, eased his hand. He angled his body slightly toward Niall. Niall interlocked their fingers.

"I mean, you drove me all the way here and...it's late."

There was a pause and neither of them said anything. The temperature was climbing without any air conditioning or windows down to cool them. Neither were looking up, instead both more focused on their hands. This was the closest they had allowed themselves to be and there was a palpable fear that if they budged - much less opened a car door - it would fade instantly. Everything was resetting soon; would this, too?

"I _am_ tired," Louis said, as if practicing how he might go about convincing himself of something.

Niall pulled his hand away from Louis and leaned over, into Louis's space in the driver's seat. He supported himself on the console and, with his left hand, reached to the other side of the steering wheel. He was face-to-face with Louis while he reached for the headlight controls, flicking it to Off. He moved back some and supported himself with his hand on Louis's chair. He put his forehead to Louis's temple and could easily smell the scent of cigarettes and alcohol on Louis skin. Typical Louis. Silent confirmation that nothing had changed.

"We should go inside," Niall said.

"Wait."

Niall had started to move away, but Louis continued softly anyway. “There’s so much I-“

Louis cut himself off because it didn’t matter anymore, why bother trying to keep explaining himself when he could be turning his head and pressing his lips to Niall's? The initial touch was startling for both of them but they found each other's eyes anyway.

Niall pushed forward the second time, closing his eyes and letting his lips find Louis's again on instinct alone. The kiss itself was short and intense, though it seemed to last for much longer. They were both acutely aware of the console and gear shift between them: more concrete obstacles than they'd faced up to this point.

"What were you trying to say?" Niall asked when they broke apart, pressing his forehead to Louis's. 

He had his hand around the back of Louis's head, not holding it or trying to move it, but just there, fingers lacing through his hair and keeping _this_ reality in check.

"Doesn't matter," Louis smiled, "You already know."


End file.
